For Moms: Help Her Plan Her Special Day
It’s happened. You’ve gotten the phone call you’ve suspected was coming (or known, if your future son-in-law asked for your daughter’s hand!). The ring has been admired, and congratulations have been given. Now, it’s time plan! This article will help guide you on giving your daughter the best day possible.
- Decide who’s paying, and for what. In the olden days, it was common practice for the parents of the bride to pay for everything for the big day. Nowadays, some families split the bill between the grooms family, or the couple may opt to pay for everything themselves. If the couple chooses to pay their own way, a common wedding gift is to offer to pay for a certain aspect of the event, such as the flowers or the music. Whatever you decide, be sure to support the couple in their decision. This brings us to our next tip…
- If you disagree, say something…but only once. Remember that this day is about the couple. While it’s perfectly fine to suggest to the bride that the centerpieces may look better with yellow roses instead of white, insisting on your point of view will only cause undue stress. By all means, speak your mind, but let it go if they don’t change theirs.
- When you offer to help, be specific. Planning events can be stressful, and this is doubly true for weddings. You want to assist, but if you leave a general “let me know what I can do,” the bride and groom may not know how to take advantage of your offer. If you offer to do a specific task, such as arranging for a dress fitting or calling the florist, they’ll be more likely to take you up on it.
- Be on hand, but not in the way. On the big day, there are guaranteed to be some lumps and bumps along the way. Be prepared to do whatever needs to be done to smooth the path, and don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to the bridal party. Whether it’s getting a glass of champagne to calm the bride’s nerves, or finding out where the jar for the sand ceremony went, you are your daughter’s strongest ally.
- Try to find a quiet moment together. This is a big day, for both of you. If at all possible, try to find a quiet moment together to share your joy, and to dispense any last minute pieces of advice. Always remember, you loved her first.